Sure, I’m unsure.

As I sit here between a drunk Russian beetboxing and a Dutchie playing jazz guitar, I realised this is my home. This is where I’m at my happiest.

Recently my life has been turned upside down. Everything I ever wanted to be sure about like my education and a potential life partner just sort of went out the window.

And usually that would have me losing my mind. I’m the type of girl that loves a schedule. I love knowing when things are meant to happen or how. And giving all of that up is something I never really expected out of myself.

I sometimes like to rebel, which means I do things that may be illegal or immoral, but they make me so happy.

I like going to parties and taking pills and having a mind blowing experience. I like doing balloons, eventhough they’re bad for you. I fucking love going to parties. Don’t get me wrong, I know drugs are bad, but the whole bit where you feel your body let go and you sort of fade and you get a new perspective, woah. A new level of wild, inconceivable, unimaginable beauty is released before your eyes.

Now before I start hearing some shit that I’m a drug addict, let’s clarify some shit. I don’t do drugs every weekend. I know how to say “no”. I don’t take random drugs from random people. And I definitely know when my body can handle it and when it can’t. It’s immoral but I try to do something irresponsible in the most responsible, safe and healthy way possible.

I’m done trying to hide shit, done being afraid of people judging me. I’m just gonna hang with the people that make me smile and go to parties that blow my mind.

Forever yours, Kamla.

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