I’m currently preparing to move away from this tiny island, over to a small city in the southern part of the Netherlands.
Am I excited? Yes.
Am I nervous? Heck yes.
For the most part, my prep included getting rid of a lot of things, throwing things out, donating things, and attempting (but failing) to sell a few things. I chose to do this over a long period of time since I am emotionally attached to everything and need to first detach before getting rid of it. So i’ve been cleaning and prepping since February. I’ve done well so far, however my biggest challenge was to not buy more make up. My last make up purchase was in April and then I went cold turkey. That’s all fine now though, I’ll get new stuff when I go to the Netherlands.
I think the biggest thing that makes me nervous is that I have to leave my mom. now don’t get me wrong. We argue and disagree like any normal mother and daughter. But its also just been us for so long. Since my dad died it was us. Two of my siblings were already abroad and my other half sibling doesn’t live with us, but instead with his own mother. So it was Kamla & Gardenia. With the good, the bad and everything in between, we took it on together. As my family fell apart, it only became more clear to us that we really need to rely on each other. My mom is a tough lady, and she can be a little cold, but its all with good intentions.
So now I’m leaving my mom. And I’m sad about it, but I’m also really excited.
I’m gonna move in with my sister. My big sister! We found a nice big apartment in the city center, and we have all these plans for the different rooms and the different spaces. We’re all about green/nature vibes, which is not at all my own personal style, but with my sister, I look up to her so much that I want to do whatever it is that’s possible to keep her happy.
And before you start judging and saying shit back to me, I have my own room where I can do whatever the fuck I want and design it however the fuck I want. So our common spaces are going to be based on ideas my sister wants and I’ll be picking and coordinating colors and furniture. My sister likes plants and I like low maintenance plants that I can’t kill. We’ve compromised that I’ll do my best but she knows it’s all new to me. We have also agreed on an indoor herb garden for the kitchen, which I have no idea how to do or what that entails, but she seems confident.
I’m so happy to be with my sister and to laugh with her and relax with her and just to soak her in.
I’ve missed my sister more than anyone could ever understand. And she said she would cry when she sees me, but I know I will. I’ll be so happy that crying would be the only thing I could figure out what to do. Aside from hugging her, of course.
My sister is who I am most comfortable with, Who I am happiest with. My sister is my home.
So I’m about two weeks away from being home, and I can’t wait.
With love and excitement, Kamla.