I’m the youngest of four siblings, two brothers and one sister. This will be the story of Nagila.
My sister and I are very close, and to be honest I don’t think I would still be alive if it wasn’t for her. I went through a pretty depressive and suicidal stage of my life and my sister was the only person who knew. I love her very much but I don’t think she will ever realize how much.
I feel after my father passes she took on the role of making sure I was okay, I assumed it would always be my older brother but I now understand that at the time he himself was emotionally unavailable. My sister however was a push over and would put anyone first instead of herself. In most situations I would find that to be one of the most stupid decisions one could make, but now I’m very grateful for her ignorance towards self health.
My sister at some point fell into a dark place as well and became depressed herself, my biggest concern was always that she wouldn’t always talk to me as openly as I would to her. I felt she would hide things and at one point it all came crashing down. She was always so used to telling my father her problems and she no longer could. I guess I expected her to talk to the person who had been in therapy for all those years (thus me), but now as I look at myself I understand why she didn’t. I’m the type of person that cries after three bits of bad news. Not devastating news, just regular bad news, like if my laces were loose, if I ran out of bus-credit or if I missed an episode of the bachelorette. Anyways,because of this I could only imagine my reaction to my sister telling me she’s lonesome and depressed. I would have probably called in sick for work and spend my day crying on the sofa.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we’re still sisters and we still fight, but its mostly about really serious stuff like me not having money when she wants to do something, or if I did something really wrong and she wants me to tell my mother. As a responsible person would do.
I think my sister is the one friend I couldn’t bare losing. I cant fail to mention some of her qualities, for example her beauty and smile, her sense of humor and her intelligence. She’s very adventurous and is always willing to try anything. She’s also the type of woman who is confident enough in herself and for this reason does not have the need to go out, find a guy and, forgive my language, fuck them crazy. She is a very responsible, self providing, caring, understanding, funny person. And she’s only 23. I hope to one day be as responsible as my sister and to be as good of a role model to my niece as she was to me.
So please, meet Nagila
With lots of love, Kamla.